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Philosophical Essays on Many Subjects

Milk

Dungeon of Leche Now available at DriveThru RPG for 99 Copper Pieces

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A Pathfinder compatible adventure for character levels 10-12.

Description

During the beginning of the Third Cycle of the endless Abyssal War, the First Kingdom fell before the onslaught of the demons. Despite this defeat, the gods dispensed rewards to the heroes of the war. The cat heroes were granted a gift of magical golden cows that provided an endless supply of delicious milk that could be claimed by any righteous cat.

Over the centuries, cows were lost to chance, murder, or negligence until but one remained. The last golden cow was taken to the greatest Temple of the Cats. Tragically, the priests eventually succumbed to greed and kept all the milk to themselves. Because of this selfishness, the gods cursed the priests with endless thirst (and gigantic hairballs) and took the cow from them. However, they ruled that if a cat were cunning enough to learn the location of the golden cow, brave enough to recover it and generous enough to share the milk, then the magic milk would flow again for all cats. To ensure that the cats would have a tough time of it, the gods turned over the creation of the dungeon to Yote, a god of trickery. Unfortunately, he allowed his nephew Scradoo to help design the dungeon. After it was completed, the dungeon was given appropriate canine and milk based guardians.

Since that time many a cunning cat has set out on the search for the golden cow. However, all have failed. While the very cunning were sometimes able to find it, they either perished in the dungeon or failed the final test. It is now time for new heroes to search for the golden cow.

The Dungeon of Leche: Search for the Golden Cow is a Pathfinder Role Playing Game compatible adventure. It is a humorous adventure intended for a party of 10th-12th level.

Here are some of the features of the adventure:

  • A canine and dairy themed dungeon crawl with two scoops of monsters and traps on top.
  • A humorous adventure that still provides serious play.
  • Detailed maps for the dungeon.
  • New monsters (Golden Cow, Butter Golem, Cheese Golem, Cheese Hungering Mouse Swarm, Ice Cream Golem, and Yogurt Ooze).
  • New spell (Create Milk).
  • Full statistics are included for all encounters—no need to look up monsters.
  • Robust opportunities for puns, jokes and combat.
  • Not fat free.

Available for 99 cents on Amazon.

Available at the Paizo store as a 99 cent PDF.

Available at DriveThruRPG for 99 cents.

Downloads

Dungeon of Leche Monsters & Maps PDF

Hero Lab Portfolio Folder

See paizo.com/pathfinderRPG for more information on the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game.

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The Dungeon of Leche

by Leave a Comment

A Pathfinder compatible adventure for character levels 10-12.

Description

During the beginning of the Third Cycle of the endless Abyssal War, the First Kingdom fell before the onslaught of the demons. During this long war humans and their allies fought bravely thus allowing the human race to survive the fall of this mighty kingdom. As always, the horses and canines fought alongside their beloved humans thus earning great honors from the gods of goodness. Somewhat reluctantly, the cats became involved in the war as well. While some cats went to the side of the demons, many of them elected to fight against the horrors of the abyss alongside the humans (but far away from the dogs). Some claim that the catfolk were granted sentience for the bold service of their feline ancestors during the battles of this war. Scholars, however, note that records predating the fall of the First Kingdom make mention of the catfolk-or at least a similar race.

While the First Kingdom was destroyed, the gods dispensed rewards to those heroes who survived the war. The cats that fought the demons were granted their due rewards and these included the gift of magical golden cows. According to the ancient tales, the cows produced magical milk in the morning and then an endless supply of delicious milk the remainder of the day.

While it is said that the cats received many golden cows as gifts, it is also said that eventually there was but one cow remaining. The others had been lost to chance, murder, or negligence. The last remaining golden cow was taken to the greatest Temple of the Cats to be protected by an elite guard of priests. At first, the milk of the cow was distributed freely among those visiting the temple and any cat could claim his or her share of the milk. However, the priests eventually became covetous and began to demand coin in return for the milk and even kept the magical milk for themselves.

After his subjects informed him of this transgression, the king of the cats demanded that the priests make the milk available to all cats. The priests refused and thus earned the ire of the gods.

Because of the selfishness of the priests, the gods sent their agents to curse the priests with endless thirst and to take away the golden cow. However, the just gods ruled that if a cat were cunning enough to learn the location of the golden cow, brave enough to reach it in its hidden dungeon and generous enough to share the milk, then the golden cow would be returned. The merciful gods decreed further that the rescued cow would give birth to golden calves to be shared with catkind. To ensure that the cats would have a tough time of it, the gods turned over the creation of the dungeon to Yote, a god of trickery. Unfortunately, he allowed his nephew Scradoo(best known for malicious pranks)  to help design the dungeon. After it was completed, the dungeon was given appropriate canine and milk based guardians.

Since that time many a cunning cat has set out on the search for the golden cow. However, all have failed. While the very cunning were sometimes able to find it, they either perished in the dungeon or failed the final test.

Now is the time for new heroes to face the challenge of the Dungeon of Leche.

Available on Amazon.

Downloads

Dungeon of Leche Monsters & Maps PDF

See paizo.com/pathfinderRPG for more information on the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game.

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Chocolate Milk & Sports Drinks

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A glass of chocolate milk
Image via Wikipedia

While the Colbert Report is a comedy show, it typically features real (if often odd) news. This morning (I don’t stay up late enough to watch the show at night) I saw an episode in which Colbert noted that chocolate milk has been found to be as good as sports drinks. Of course, this is not a new claim. Back in 2006 there was a small study that supported this claim. I also recall that a study of sports drinks done years ago included Yoo Hoo (apparently as something of a joke). It seems that Yoo Hoo did better than the sports drinks.

While it might seem odd that chocolate milk (and Yoo Hoo) would be better than special formulated sports drinks, it actually makes sense. After all, most sports drinks work by providing fluids and calories. Chocolate milk does just that, plus the milk actually has a decent amount of nutritional value. Interestingly, many protein shake products are based on milk proteins.

Whenever I’ve felt a bit run down from working out, I’d go and buy a bottle of chocolate milk and drink it, despite the mocking that I would sometimes receive for drinking a kid’s drink. It always made me feel much better. the drink, not the mocking, of course. I had initially assumed it was mostly psychological (I really like chocolate milk) but, on reflection, realized that the milk has sugar, chocolate and other stuff that can restore energy. Apparently, I was ahead of my time once more.

While chocolate milk is a good sports drink, it does have some obvious problems. First, people often find it harder to keep milk down when exercising. Second, chocolate milk is not the sort of thing you want warming up in your sports bottle as you bike or run. Third, spilling milk over yourself and your clothes is even worse than getting sports drinks on you.

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