Last week some of my friends and I were talking politics before our weekly Pathfinder game. While some serious points were raised, much of it was the usually joking that befits pre-game banter. Some examples (accuracy not guaranteed):
Magic Underwear
Dave: “You know the Republicans are in rough shape when the most rational guy at the table is wearing magic underwear.”
Trent: “What does the magic do?”
Mike: “I assume that it provides some defense against craziness.”
Cowboy Boots
Dave:”….cowboy boots.”
Mike: “What was that about cowboy boots? Well, you know that there are only two legitimate reasons for a man to wear cowboy boots.”
Ron: “What are they?”
Mike: “The first is that he works in gay porn.”
Dave: “What’s the second?”
Mike: “That he is an actual cowboy. So, who was wearing them?”
Dave: “Herman Cain.”
Mike: “Did he ride in on a horse?”
Dave: “No.”
Mike: “Interesting.”
999 Plan
Dave: “Have you heard of Cain’s 999 plan?”
Mike: “Yeah, he got it from Sim City. But here is the interesting thing. If you flip his plan upside down, you get 666.”
Dave: “The plan of the beast!”
Mike: “Exactly. And who is the opposite of Herman Cain?”
Trent: “Obama?”
Mike: “Sure, why not. You know what that means?”
Trent: “Obama is the beast?”
Mike: “No, Rosie O’Donnell is. Do the math.”
Oh God, that’s funny…I see where the joke is there…Mike defines the context in which cowboy boots are only worn. Then, since Herman Cain doesn’t fit the one category he must therefore fit the other. The tears in my eyes make it hard to even type this.
Hey, I got another joke for ya, though maybe you heard this one…The president of the university meets with the head of the physics department and asks him, “Why must you guys constantly hit me up for money? If it’s not lasers, it’s cyclotrons or mass spectrometers, or even nuclear reactors. Why can’t you be more like the mathematics guys. All they ask for is paper, pencils, erasers, and waste baskets. Or better yet, the philosophy department. All they need are the pencils and paper”.
And BTW, what’s wrong with gay porn anyway. I mean it’s not my cup of tea, but to each his own…wait a minute…how would you know this anyway?