When I first started teaching, I would generally believe students when they said they missed class do to a death in the family or some other dire circumstance. Sadly, I soon found out what should have been obvious: people will lie about terrible things for rather small reasons (like making up a test).
Since my grandfather died when I was in college, I understand how that can affect a person and hence I am sympathetic. However, like most professors I have noticed the convenient death syndrome: near relatives dying right around test dates and paper due dates. While death is a serious thing, I have often joked that professors should send out warnings to students relatives about our exam and assignment/paper dates and the alarming correlation between these dates and deaths.
My policy on excuses involving deaths (or alleged deaths) has been to express sincere sympathy and then request documentation. I still feel a bit bad about asking for this (“oh, someone you love died…well, prove it…”). But, I’ve found that good students who suffer a death in the family generally show up at my office and have the documentation already on hand.
For students who lack documentation, I have a “mercy” policy: each student gets a “mercy” that can count as a “no questions asked” excuse for a missed exam or late paper. I did this mainly for two reasons: 1) students do sometimes have legitimate reasons for missing class that cannot be documented and 2) I feel bad when people lie to me.
Reminds me of the M*A*S*H episode where Henry listed all of Klinger’s leave requests, among them “half the family dying, other half pregnant.” 🙂
Knowing Klinger’s background, determining the veracity of the excuse was very easy. Maxwell Klinger was a man who tried to eat a jeep to get discharged from the Army.
On the other hand, it’s not that difficult to imagine a real-life scenario where “half the family dying, other half pregnant” could be tragically/happily true.
Context is everything. Getting at it is not always easy.
You can only really know if they offer the excuse for the same deceased person twice. I’m sure it has happened somewhere.