In addition to my legendary lack of navigation skills, I am also known for my nerdtastic powers. Naturally, people turn to me to help them with their computer problems.
Saturday, my friend Dave called me to say that his computer started acting up after he heard a loud “pop.” As a rule of thumb, your computer should not be making a noise associated with a breakfast cereal.
When Dave brought the PC over on Sunday, I found that the video card had three exploded capacitors and that the motherboard was no longer working. I’m not usually given to poetry, but the following popped into my head (like a capacitor):
There is a man named “Dave” who sends computers to an early grave.
Listen to him and he will say:
“I don’t know what to do, all these dead computers are making me blue.”
“HP, Gateway or Dell, I always manage to blow them to hell.”
“I wish this madness would end, I don’t have any more money to spend.
“I wish I could fix things with just a snap, because I always buy PCs that are crap!”
“I don’t think that computers have hearts, but I thought I heard it crying as Mike scrapped it for parts.”
“My CPUs are melted blobs, so maybe I should buy an Apple from Mr. Jobs.”
“So, a new PC I shall buy…I just hope this one doesn’t die!”
Not to worry-I have no plans to become a poet. I’ll stick with running.
Let the record reflect that I have only burned up TWO computers: #1) a HP Laptop that susbsequently became the focus of a class action suit (for overheating), and #2) a Gateway Desktop which will henceforth be given the model number as the “HP Cheapo POS.”
Thank you for your nerdtastic powers, Mike. I had contemplated presenting you with a gift to thank you for your PC consulting. Instead, I shall consider providing you with an opportunity to mock me publicly (and in verse) as payment in full.
Burn PC Burn!
Dave
An opportunity to mock is the greatest gift of all. Put that on a card, Hallmark.
I vote for the iMac.
Does my vote count?
As far as the poetry, well, I wasn’t there when it was composed, to hear the original voice, inflection and such. So, um.
Yeah.
The iMac is a good choice.
You need to buy my forthcoming spoken word and poetry album. It explores the kinder side of human nature in a sensitive way. The title is “Get Your Dirty Goat Off My Lawn or I’ll Cut Your Face Off…With a Knife.” It is subtitled “An Omelet for Satan.” You’ll love it. Or die trying.
Ah, The School of ATHF!
I think I’ll go download some ATHF from my iMac to my iPhone.
And it will work because it’s not a PC!
Yay!
Do they have an iATHF?