I let Isis out back as soon as I get up. After doing her business she likes to grab more beauty sleep in the great outdoors. To make her snooze extra comfy, she has dug several Isis shaped sleeping pits out back. When I was getting ready to run I noticed that Isis was not napping in one of her puppy pits.
Instead, she was staring intently into the neighbor’s yard. I went out to look and saw an armadillo digging away in the lawn. It ignored Isis completely and eventually went into the neighbor’s shed.
If they could talk, I suspect it would have played out like this:
Isis: “Hey you, what the heck are you?”
Armadillo: “I’m an armadillo. I dig holes.”
Isis: “I dig holes, too. Perhaps we can be friends and do lots of damage together.”
Armadillo: “You’re weird looking.”
Isis: “What? I’m beautiful. Everyone tells me so.”
Armadillo: “You have no armor , your legs are too long and you are coated in fur. I avert my eyes from your ugliness.”
Isis: “Well, speaking of digging holes and legs, I think I’ll use my long legs to jump the fence. Then I’ll bury you up to your knees in a hole.”
Armadillo: “Hah! That would do nothing to me. I’d just walk out of the dirt.”
Isis: “Did I mention that you’d be upside down when I bury you?”
Armadillo: “Hey, none of that! I think I’ll go poop in this shed.”
Isis: “Freak.”
Armadillo (from shed): “Darn, I already read this issue of USA Today!”
Armadillo: “Do you believe in God?”
Isis: “No, I’m a dog.”
Armadillo: “What does that have to do with it?”
Isis: ” ‘God’ backwards is ‘dog.’ Also, dogs have no knees. So we can’t pray. That’s why we’re all atheists.”
Armadillo: “What the hell?”
Isis: “What about you, rat in plate armor, do you believe in God?”
Armadillo: “Of course. I’m obviously the product of intelligent design.”
Isis: “Hmm, I’m not an atheist anymore. ”
Armadillo: “Ah, the perfection of my design has swayed you.”
Isis: “Um, no. The fact that you are a rat in plate armor has convinced me that only a being with a sense of humor could have created something like you.”
Armadillo: “Hey!”
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